Have you ever wanted to know what the secret to never taking anything personally was?
I Have just finished reading a book called the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book is sensational. What would it really be like if you could actually see peoples behaviour for what it really was?
In life we make everything mean something about us. I was having a phone conversation with a friend the other day and she was carrying on about how she was feeling. She was so upset and angry that she started to yell at me over the phone. In that moment I felt the tears well up and I started to want to defend myself.”How dare she attack me I thought, who does she think she is”
Then in that moment as the tear started I remembered, “Pam nothing is personal unless you make it”.I was able to think clearly through my upset and the tears subsided. I then started to listen for what was actually being said to me.
When I did this I realised it actually had nothing to do with me. In fact this human being was upset by something they deemed as their truth. I was then able to stop myself from making them wrong and bad. There was the freedom to listen to what the person was saying and ask them to stop yelling. I had clarity in my thinking and was able to remain calm.
As part of this learning Ruiz speaks about the 3rd agreement which is to never make assumptions. This for me went hand in hand with “Nothing is Personal” as when we are taking things personally we are making assumptions about what another person is feeling or why they are behaving the way they are.