What is trust and what does it take for you to trust someone?
Is trust based on large events that allow you to believe that someone is trust worthy or are they made up of the little things that add up to you being able to trust someone?
I listened to Brene Brown’s lesson on the Anatomy of Trust today and it really hit home. As humans, we don’t actually work out “what are the behaviours I believe build trust for me when it comes to trusting myself and others?”
I want to share Brene’s overview of Trust = Braving.
Boundaries: I trust you, if you are clear with your boundaries and you, in turn, respect mine.
“Boundaries is something that indicates bounds or limits; a limiting or bounding line” – Dictonary.com.
What are the boundaries that you uphold with those around you in both your personal life and business? What will it take for you to uphold these and in return respect other peoples’ boundaries?Write down what your boundaries are around work and life and spend some time working these out.
Responsibility: I can only trust you if you do what you say and you do this over and over again. That is trust! Being honest is important as honesty means you are being responsible. Don’t make promises you can’t keep and be impeccable with your word.
Accountability: Own your mistakes and actions. Apologise and make amends. This is not a licence to repeat the behaviour or action. It is an opportunity for you to be honest about what has happened and to build trust through this.
Vault: What I share with you, you will hold in confidence. This is a two way action. It means that you will keep another person’s share in confidence. It is a two way street. What it also means is that you can damage this trust with someone by not demonstrating this when dealing with others, for example gossiping. Telling another’s story when it is not your place to tell it.
Integrity: Is choosing courage over comfort, right over fun, fast over easy and practising your values. There is no point in declaring your set of values if you are not prepared to live by those values.
Non-Judgement: Be in the struggle and ask for help without judgement on yourself or others. We give help without judgement to others easily however we don’t always extend this to ourselves.
Generosity: Words, intentions and behaviours – never assume anything and make decisions based on your assumption and make it mean something about that person. Be generous with your words and the other persons intentions and behaviours. “Make generous assumptions about me and check it out, give them the benefit of the doubt” – Brene Brown.
As leaders what will it take for you to trust yourself and then earn another’s trust? Because if you can’t trust yourself, then no one else will trust you either.
I encourage you to take the next step and work out what this means to you and what small behaviours or experiences you feel warrants you to trust another human being.